Time perception is one of those things that got strongly knocking on me upon knowing the health situation of my mother.
Learning about my mother's limited time, i get to think that my time is also limited. I probably have only 20 more good years, hopefully, to come.
The 20years is not really much when considering that it takes 10thousand hours (roughly equivalent to 10 years) to master a craft. Then i only have my another 10years to make use of being a master of a craft -- maybe make a business out of it. So i might subtract a few years of figuring out what to make of the craft that i mastered. Then maybe I only have 8 or 5 years to make the most of my mastered craft.
But for now, I ran out of next week of excuses.
After our 1st discharged from the hospital when my mother was diagnosed and she had a surgery, i went with Mark to Boracay for GOAB and thought to myself that when we got back NEXT WEEK, we'll be back to our usual routine though a bit sick this time.
Next week came, and we were home from GOAB, looking at my mother having to be "bed panned," it hit me that it's never going to be the same again.
I was cool about it but it took time for me to get into the new routine so i often told myself to take time off to let things sink in. And, NEXT WEEK, i'll start going back to my routine -- working again on the projects I committed to. Hopefully getting myself busy with a few projects here and there can take my mind off from my nanay's.
NEXT WEEK came, and I start informing the people I committed to that I had to quit as I just could not find my mojo back.
The NEXT WEEKs had been about trying to find normalcy, then the boat got shaken a bit from time to time. So Then the next weeks became time to find a new normal again. Though, normal is probably not really our type of lifestyle -- somehow I'm thankful for this mindset as it helps me get a quick grip of sticky situations.
The NEXT WEEKS are like being in a constant adrenaline rush, always on the heightened state of alert of the sudden changes in my nanay's health situation. The next weeks are like sometimes on the brink of breaking down but hey I can't complain i'm not the one with cancer.
Then next weeks, maybe after all this beautiful storm, i can come up with a craft worthwhile mastering for the remaining years of my life...
But for now, let me get back to it next week.