I'm "Deep" yaknow

Mark and I had confrontation this morning. It's more of Mark trying to be knowing-it-all "bossy." So I found myself buried deep in my own made-up tasks. And, I felt crying as another worthy task popped up, and I no longer know how to fit it. 

So here comes Mr. Buenconsejo trying to teach me a lesson or two about how to create some system. And, I really hate it when he'd do that. That's why we can never work together, as much as possible.

While, he is very OC organized person. My organization is like fireworks display. He said he could not understand why I panicked over my to-do list when he has longer. See, who does not get annoyed with those kind of comments?

So anyhoo, it kind of made me think as to why. Why it seems every task is such a mountain to move for me? 

I guess because I'm always an emotional person. Emotional in a way, that when I would deliver something, I wanted that it has some personal touch. I don't want it empty, like it's done for the sake that it's being done or just to tick off an item in my to-do list. I felt the world has more than enough of those kind of works, I don't want to add to it. I don't care if mine is not welcome or understand by most, but I wanted it that if ever someone would come across it, they would feel that the one who made it, at least put an effort of "care" to it. And things like this takes a lotttttt of time to do! =|

And another thing that makes it harder for me to finish something is that reaching out to the general public, you need to dumb-down a bit your "creation." It's hard for me accept that. I don't want to waste my time creating yet another spam.