May 1, 2012


My last entry was that we're in "chaos." I forgot what exactly Mark and I argued over. I think he was frustrated that his kids had / have no discipline. Of course, he was pissed at me because I'm now a "fulltime" housewife and he does not get it why I could not discipline our kids.

Well, my only reply is that his kids are his kids -- they perfectly have Mark's genes. Is Mark John a disciplined boy? How do you discipline a Mark John?!? A Mark John does not listen to any one. Mark is a crash-and-burn kind of person. He always would go after what's inside his mind until he'd get annoyed and stop. So all I can do is to just wait when the kids would crash and burn. Then, I could stick out my tongue at them, "Bleeehhh." =)

Anyway, I guess we're in a "transition" stage where every thing is new, and we're groping. Just like in any other stage, we have an idea of what is ideal but how to get or reach that ideal idea is a deep black ocean.

The 2 older kids will be both graders, and Mati will also be in school (I don't know what's his level. Some changes to the education system.).  They're in this stage that "brute force" / "ilad-ilad" kind of discipline does not work much. Just based on what I think, it's a stage where the kids take more from what we actually are doing than just our usual "good little boys and girls" go to heaven, or will receive gifts from Santa this Christmas stories to make them behave or eat well or listen to us.

If we want them to eat well, then Mark and I also have to eat well. If we want them to clean the house, then we have to show them that we clean the house. Of course, that's not a problem except that we're used to having the Ate's around. Removing Ate's is a totally different story. The thing is that we have to divert from our usual routine at home that we are most comfortable. And, as humans who are habitual, it's not going to be easy.

It's time consuming to be patient over kids learning how to fold their blankets, sweep, mop the floor than just I or Ate would do it. For the OC, it can be such a headache to see the kids are messing instead of really doing the job.   

I guess what added to the drama is that Mark is also having that "new stage" at work. So it gets messy for him. Let's just say he's doing non-programming works, and he does not really know what he's supposed to do. There's that ideal picture, but getting into that ideal picture is a big blank canvass and he's no painter. And he does not know any painter who can bring that ideal picture to reality.

So I guess that's why Mark is in rage last week over me? =) Anyhoo, there's nothing much we can do about it but to have that blind faith but keeping the nose and eyes wide open. I just have to reassure him that our kids' percentage of going to detention cell is very very slim as I'm doing a good job as a mother based on my scientific study. Funny, that I have to reassure Mark when I'm always the unsure person.

If it's running, to go the top, we have to endure a very steep uphill and we're not even sure if we really like what is on top. We can pause and look at our back and be amazed with the view from time to time. But it will be always uncomfortable if we want to move forward, and much more if we want to go up. And, once you're up -- you might need to take a painful descent, a rolling hills, or get stuck at the top. =)

So I'd like to believe that's why we are in pain or uncomfortable from time to time is that it's a sign we're still moving. =)

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